And Still I Rise…

We all want to achieve greatness. Truth is, we all can. Our great minds just need to be inspired to think great thoughts, to embrace what we can become, and to think beyond what we can see.

Lust is not a barrier to Gods Love

Lust is a disease that only the grace of God can cure. So be encouraged and just ask for help.

Hebrews 4:16 says “Let us with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find help in our time of need”. Gods grace is sufficient for you and I. He wants us to be confident that we can rely on Him.

We NEED to rely on Him because just as Paul says in Romans 7:18 “I have the desire to do what is right but I don’t have the ability”.

We need to realise that we do not have the strength or ability or wisdom to fight against sexual immorality. It doesn’t make us weak to admit we have a lust issue, having a weakness should not be a stigma as society in today makes it seem. God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness because our weaknesses humble us and show us how merciful God is. We just do not have the ability, if we did then Jesus wouldn’t have had to die in our place.

Isaiah 40:28 says God gives power to the weak. Power is the ability to carry out something you are not able to do. So after praying about our lust issue we should exercise our faith and God-given strength by doing our best to stay away from situations that will make us fall, and trusting that when we do fall it’s human and God still loves us.

Because even when we do fall the bible tells us (Psalm 37:24) that we will not be cast down by God instead He holds us up in His hand. He wants to support us and not condemn us.

In Isaiah 41:10 God says.. Fear not for I am with you, do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will support you.

We need try and stop feeling like God hates us when we mess up, it just doesn’t correlate with all the scriptures in the bible that tell us all He wants to do is help us and love us. He is good, He is abundant in mercy and ready to forgive all those who call upon His name (Psalm 86:5) Forgiveness is my hardest lesson personally, but there is peace and security in knowing nothing will ever make Him stop loving us (Romans 8:35-39) so we need to come to Him boldly and receive His grace that will help us in our time of need.

Whatever the issue may be, there is no limit to God’s love, power and mercy.

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Broken Glass.

Cracked.

Seven years bad luck, they say
But Lady Luck never really gave a
Damn

Staring at my fragmented features
As I held the mirror in my hand-
Shaking
I watched the pieces fall.

Too many pieces to pick up
Too many broken pieces-
So I let them fall.
I couldn’t find them all.

I’m aching
From this sore
Inflicted by the shards

The shards are deeply embedded
In my heart.

I guess I found the missing pieces then.

I just can’t put them back together.

But there is someone who can
He is the true image I was made to reflect
Love, Joy, Peace
Wisdom and Strength
He can never be broken
And so I know I can
With Him
Restore the pieces that were stolen.
He is the image that holds
Even when I crack
I look at Him and see
That there is hope for me

I am being made whole.

Seeing For The First Time.

Take notice of Me.
Observe.
See.
That I am doing something good,
And that I want the best for you.
I don’t want My love to be misunderstood
Especially when it only damages you
The longer you live not knowing about My love,
You live not knowing your worth.
And you can’t survive this way.
The only way
Is for you to see Me..
In every circumstance,
Look this way
At Me.
Take notice.
I know you’re only focused on what you feel you deserve
But please reserve what you think
If only for a second you could just
put your racing thoughts on Pause…
And take notice of Me
Infuse your mind with My thoughts
Let it fill all of you
Because then I will be a part of you
Don’t ignore My attempts to show you how much I adore you
Take notice of how I love you
Patiently, gently,
Jealously I guard you
You are mine because I made you
So don’t take notice of how you are
Take notice of all that you can be in Me,
If you’ll only take notice of Me at work in you

Observe how freely I forgive you without a thought
Not how many mistakes you made
But how many rights I can produce from all your wrongs
Take notice of Me
Open your eyes to My abilities
Not your imperfections
Because with My interventions
You will be made perfect in Me
So take notice of Me
Not your setbacks and failures
There’s no life in taking notice of worthless things which add no real value to you
What you focus your eyes on feeds your soul
How well-nourished is you inner being?
What are you full of?

Take notice of My word
And fill yourself with My desires
Forget your pain and neglect
If all you take notice of is your hurt and abuse,
That’s all you will see in yourself
You limit yourself by what you choose to see
So don’t just take notice of the negatives
Behold the positives instead
Because I know there is more to you.

Take notice of the way I take notice of you
I’m mindful of you,
I see your sitting down and rising up
I have your life all planned out
Always thinking about you
My thoughts for you outnumber the grains of sand by the ocean..
I’ll never leave you
I want to complete you and completely envelope you
So that I can form a cocoon around you
Protecting you
With My love
Take notice of Me

Take notice of how I’ve always been there,
Never wavering in My love.

Take notice of ME
Can’t you see?
Don’t you yet understand?

Take notice and see My outstretched hand
I’ve been waiting
Pining away with this unrequited love
Because I know My love is what you need to be free
But you reject Me
And refuse to take notice of Me.

See yourself with no limits
See yourself with My eyes
See Me first, and you will rise above the ashes, My Beauty
Take notice of Me
The sacrifices I’ve made
And what this means
If you’ll only take notice
Then you’ll live a life full of real joy
Uninhibited peace and fresh hopes
Acknowledge Me in all your ways
And I will direct your path
Because I know what you don’t
I know how your story ends
So just trust Me.
And take notice.
Of Me…

Scared

Fear is a negative emotion which alters our perception about who we are and what we can achieve. For example, fear can convince us that we are worthless; that we are alone; that we don’t deserve to be happy, because that happiness will be taken away from us; that we don’t have the ability to succeed; that we are flawed; that we are beyond redemption; that people will hurt us; that everyone is against us and so we can never relax, therefore peace always eludes us. However, fear is a restricted view of our life because we only ever get to see one perspective.

What you fear becomes a god in your life because we always live in subjection to our fears. Our fears say we can’t so we don’t. Our fears tell us that if we try we will fail, so we never even bother to attempt. We need the courage to fight against our fears because fear sucks the life, vitality and energy from us. Fear makes us so weary with worry and doubt that we lose the strength to focus on anything else besides fear itself. All we see is lack around us and it weighs heavy on our hearts. Fear frustrates us because it creates a conflict of interest. We have the potential to do something great, we can sense this potential so much, but fear tells us we will never accomplish anything worthwhile. Fear even gives us excuses using our past mistakes and outcomes.

These are my fears: I am scared of failure. I am scared of my life never amounting to anything. I am scared of getting it wrong. I’m scared of doing something that will ruin my happiness. I’m scared I can never change my bad ways. I am scared that I am too weak. I am scared that I’m making the wrong choice about what to do with my life. I’m scared to love. I am scared to be loved. I’m scared no-one will ever love me. I’m scared they won’t accept me. I’m scared of what they think. I’m scared that God will change His mind about me. I’m scared God won’t be able to help me. I am scared of being broken. I am scared of hurting someone. I am scared of disappointment. I am scared of rejection. I am scared of fear itself.  I am scared I will be alone for the rest of my life. I am scared of myself.

The question is why? Where do all our fears come from?

How many of us live our lives actually bound in fear?

We carry fear as a burden on our heart, living our lives with this heavy weight and many conflicting thoughts- thoughts bickering in our heads like loud angry birds, but this is not a game. This is our life and there is no reason why we should let our fears cheat us from living it to its maximum potential. We are constantly fighting with ourselves about what to do, where to turn, whether or not we should act and as a result we never do anything and life just passes us by. Everything we do or fail to do is as a result of our fears. For example, I may be scared that my boyfriend will leave me, so I do everything in my power to make sure he doesn’t, therefore ruining my own worth. Sometimes I may take a situation deeper than it needs to be because I fear/expect to get hurt. What we fear, we expect.  I may push people away because I am scared they will hurt me and that as a result I will be left alone. Then I will start to be scared of being alone because I see the pattern in what I am doing. I may be so scared of being alone that I don’t even bother to try meeting anyone new, and so when I do meet someone new, they think I am too dismissive because there is this vibe I am giving off unaware. As a result, I become scared and convinced that I am repulsive to humans in general. A guy may decide that he likes my friend better perhaps because she was simply his cup of tea,  and so I become scared of rejection.  My friend decides she likes the guy and goes for it and then I become scared to trust and scared of betrayal. I begin to make people feel like they can’t be around me and so I begin to confirm my own fears about people not liking me. I start to be defensive because I am scared of being a push over. I feel people are always attacking me,and so I attack them first. When they attack me back, I confirm my fears about people always attacking me and carry on playing the part of the martyr, saying to myself that there is nothing I can do about my situation. I use my fears to make up my mind about people and so I never give people a chance. However, one outcome does not conclude all future outcomes. 

There are so many examples I can give, but the main point I am trying to make is that fear is a poison to our soul, which infiltrates our whole being and infects everything around us, therefore convincing us that we are the very thing we fear we are. It’s all about perspectives. They say you are what you eat, I believe the same could be said that we are what we fear.

Fear is sly. There is no logical reason for any of our fears because fear is an emotion and is based on what we feel. Our feelings are real but not what they project. However, we start to act in accordance with our fears because we believe that they are based on something real and tangible. As a result, we become what we fear. But there is no logical reason for our fear. Fear is just an emotion, which only becomes a reality the moment we begin to believe and accept them.

Yesterday I had a panic attack.

The muscles in my chest were tight and tense. I couldn’t breathe. My fears were suffocating me. It was an awful, lonely and miserable place to be because all I had were the thoughts in my head telling me everything that I cannot do. Telling me everything that is wrong with me. I couldn’t shake it. Fear took a hold of me and I was lost in the dark abyss of my thoughts as they spiralled out of control. One negative thought snowballed into another and so on until I was left with a string of worry and doubt. I didn’t know how to get out of this maze I had built for myself and I couldn’t find a doorway to positivity which would lead the way out. I was entrenched in my fear. Trapped in my doubts. 

There is no logical reason for you to doubt your ability when you’ve never even put it to the test. And for those of us who have and have failed, we shouldn’t be afraid to persist despite difficulty, or to accept that maybe a different path is wiser. Fear starts to make us look at things the wrong way. Like when you make a mistake don’t be scared of making another one, just accept that you can do things to avoid making the same mistake in future. If you end up making a mistake anyway learn to move on from it. We are simply human.

Fear can become so much a part of who we are that all we see around us is fear. Don’t let that be you.

God said that He has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.

Power is the ability to carry out things you can’t normally do, so we do not need to fear whether we can do something, because we are not doing it by our own strength. Love heals, it covers all sin, and so we do not need to be scared that we will never get over pain, and we do not need to be scared of the mistakes that we make. We do not need to be scared about whether we can love or if we can receive love, because the love of God in us teaches us about how to love and how to receive real love, thus avoiding the counterfeit love that often cripples the hearts of many who believe in its vices.

Be encouraged that the same spirit that raised Jesus Christ from the dead lives inside of you. God can do exceedingly, abundantly, far above all you could ever ask, think or even imagine according to the power that is at work inside of YOU. Never doubt how special you are, how awesome, how amazing. You have greatness inside of YOU. Recognise what you carry inside of you- greatness! You have so much worth. There is treasure inside this earthen vessel. What may look so ordinary on the outside is absolutely extraordinary on the inside. You have no reason to doubt your potential. This is why we can’t live by what we see around us. Although we can’t see fear, it is always based on what is around us. Even if you have no reason to believe the best, believe in it anyway because God sees the best in you.

Not everyone knows God. Heck, I’m just getting to know Him myself but, He is the missing piece. The only void-filler. We can never feel safe or right without Him because we belong to Him. Humans are greatly flawed, the comfort of knowing we can rely on a God that can never fail removes all fear indeed. So I pray for the hearts of those seeking Him that you may receive power, love and a sound mind. Don’t be scared. I pray for the hearts that have been so darkened by the world that they can’t hear God’s voice calling that He removes the fears that bind their eyes from seeing the true light.

Remember, fear is only as real as you make it. Or as the acronym goes: F.E.A.R is false, evidence, appearing, real.

Sorry

I’m tired of coming to this same place of anguish and despair.

There’s no point crying when I know exactly how I got here.

Being imperfect is human they say

But at what point will you take this thorn away.

 

I’m feeling helpless and useless

Like there’s no escape

Everyday

I live life like it’s my last day

But if this really was my last day alive

Is this the legacy I want to leave behind?

 

Memories take hold of my mind

Like a horror movie stuck on rewind

I play the same scenes over and over again

There must be a way to eject the sin that lives inside.

I want something else to fill this void

Kill the noise of the world as it calls

But the road I’m on is too wide

Anything goes.

 

I need more than a water hose to wash this filth from me

I need the Blood of Christ

I need to keep the devil on his toes

Never letting him know what to expect from me

But how can I?

When I make it easy for him every time

By giving in to him when he tempts me.

Shaming the one who defends me

And when He

Has to turn His face from His own creation

It is because my life is not right in His sight

It is because He is Holy, but because of His love

He still won’t give up on me

The only thing sorry is my life

I need to fix up, but I know I am weak

This is more than lukewarm

And this wineskin is starting to leak

Every good thing He placed inside,

Every potential in me

I can’t let it go to waste

But I can’t  handle this pressure alone

Only His might can take away what’s wrong in my life

He is the only one with the power to save me.

So I need to go to Him, and stay with Him

I can’t keep floating through existence

Looking for everything that’s relevant to what I want, and how I feel,

When the only thing relevant is Him

Nothing else will fill the emptiness within

So the righteous fall seven times and get back up

I can’t say it hasn’t been more than that

But thank You Lord for giving me the strength to exercise my faith

Every time I slip away

Your love never fails.

And it doesn’t feel great, the guilt and the shame but Your Grace

Has given me a new aim

And I know I’m not worthy

But Your Grace has torn the veil

So I owe it to You to do more

Than always say “I’m sorry”

Because you’ve left me an open door to come to you.

So I need to ensure that it will never happen again

Feeling sorry is just pity for the person you hurt

I need to do more than feel bad for what I’ve done

I want to see a change so there needs to be some changes.

I need to give you more than just words

It’s time to surrender my heart, my ways, the things I love

That pull me away

It’s time to give you my trust

I’ve tried to make it work on my own

But I lost the battle to lust

This is more than a battle against my flesh

This is the difference between life and death

And when it’s all said and done

The words “I’m sorry” -although comforting to know- just isn’t enough.

It’s all about deed, action, result.

 

Lord give me the grace to fulfil the desire You’ve placed in me-

The desire to serve you.

Don’t turn away from me

I know I don’t deserve you

But I need you Lord help me

Preserve me for You

Because although I have the desire

I don’t have the ability to fix my mistakes.

I’ll give you my heart only if you’ll change my ways

Please take my sins away and don’t withhold Your Grace.

Sparks!

You…

 

I never thought I would fall.

It began with an innocent friendship

And now I find myself always drawn to you

In every way- wanting more.

But still

God’s kept us pure.

And I know it’s something more.

 

I have never been more sure,

You are my other half,

My perfect fit, my love

You see beyond all my flaws

And I am so in-love with you.

 

There is so much potential stored

Inside your heart- God’s valued treasure,

And I feel so blessed to have the pleasure,

Of looking after it.

My only hope is I can rely on Him

To show me how it’s done.

 

And I am so in-love with you.

They say you never see it come

But when you know, you know.

And if God should say there is a life on earth without you,

I would still thank Him,

For the gift which is knowing you.

And having you in my life.

Like air slowly filling up my lungs,

So you have affected every area of my life

And every part of me.

 

You surprise me.

Your boldness to love and trust,

The way you never let your discouragement

Make you give up on us,

You’re determined.

And patient.

I love you so much,

I  should be overwhelmed but I’m not

Because God is our centre.

So His grace is sufficient for us

And I am grateful for what He is doing through us.

 

You are my answer from heaven

My blessing

Everyday with you is an exciting adventure

I learn a new part of you everyday

You’re my sweet experience

The breaking of a new dawn in my life.

You never hesitate to let your guard down with me.

You let me in, and so you encourage me to love you freely.

 

You’re an instrument of God

Used

To reveal His love to me

You are a reflection of God’s love for me

So you make me want Him more.

I’m scared of saying too much

But I know I can never say enough.

 

You inspire me.

 

I keep thinking,

I have finally found a man

That is worthy to submit to.

I want to help you grow,

Remind you everyday of God’s great love.

So I have made myself responsible for your soul

With His strength, I will never hurt you.

 

With you, I want to grow old

Have children,

Watch, as through the years we share

Our visions blend and we are molded into one.

God, You and I- One

Because we both know if it’s not pleasing in His sight

Then it’s not the one.

And that’s why I feel you are the One.

Because you get that.

 

I keep telling myself

I don’t deserve you.

But you always tell me

That’s because I deserve more.

You say you are not enough

Because you can never love me to the extent of my worth.

You say I’m worth so much.

And that you need God to be able to love me

Thank you for reminding me, daily

Of His love

 

My perfect fit, my other half, my love

 

I’m done with all the hype,

I’m ready for real love.

 

But I’m only ready because it is you…

Eyes For You

Sometimes I wonder what it is they all want from me,

They sit and stare at me, like there’s something wrong with me.

But I’m not the anomaly

I’m just trying to live my life for Him

And that’s something they don’t understand

Something I can’t explain

Because it’s foolishness to their brain

So no matter how many times I try

It’s all in vain..

 

But I’ve got this burden I need to release

There is this weight that needs to be lifted

My heart is too constricted

Because I know the truth

But I suppress it with my worldy ways.

I’m too afraid.

I can express it

But the shame of whether or not they’ll accept it…

To be fair I care more about whether they will accept me

 

Except He

 

Has already told me what he expects from me

 

I need to stay grounded

Because I’m starting to drift

My feet aren’t planted

Uprooted from the truth I should be established in

His word

 

But the cares of the world

They cling to me

My lust for worldly ways lingers

No matter how hard I try to shake this feeling

I still betray Him

I know I should wait on Him

But the only delay is in the time it takes me

To come to Him

When I stray

And that happens too often.

Easily swayed by the thing I am taking a stance against

 

I’m weak.

 

Turn my eyes away from worthless things

Give me life in Your ways

Because I am dead to Your voice

And I only respond to the things which hurt you

Even though I don’t want to

I feel like I am without a choice

But you have set me free not to be in bondage again

 

So I need to trust you

You say you can handle me

I can’t even handle myself

And that’s saying a lot- I’m out of hand

But I don’t want to be out of Your hands

Please bring me to a place

Where I only have eyes for You.

Consistency

I want to be consistent with the things I do and say. Especially with the principles I claim I uphold. Otherwise how can people trust I am who I say I am. How can I trust myself?

It is time to figure out who I really am. What I really want. It’s time to be bold and confident about life. Life is an adventure and I don’t want to miss out because I am always blowing hot and cold, too afraid to step out, too afraid to look my situation in the eye, too afraid to confront my demons.

In this life mediocrity is not allowed, therefore inconsistency is not allowed because I have no reason to be unsure.

So I push back my shoulders and I raise my chin defiantly. I am ready to take on anyone and anything ahead that wants to challenge me. My normal stance is my fighting stance.

So I am not afraid of you and I am not afraid of myself or the greatness I know I can achieve. I believe in myself not because I am writing this post but because everyday I consistently practice the same belief.

It is when we are consistent that we achieve the same results over time, and this eventually leads to success. The right things will always yield right results even if it doesn’t seem like that right now. Keep at it. Persevere.

THIS IS THE DAY!

I woke up this morning realising that this is the day that The Lord has made! Like wow.. Seriously, when God was creating the world He did not stop till it was GOOD! So if God made this day then it is GOOD! Focus on the goodness not on the things that come and take your joy away because sufficient for the day is it’s own trouble. This is the day that The Lord has made therefore it is a good day so rejoice and be glad in it. Don’t worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will worry about itself. There’s nothing you or I or anyone can do to change the past so right now is the only thing we should focus on. It’s the only thing we have. What you do now will influence your future and can change your direction from where you were headed in the past, because today is the only thing you can control.

So have a great today, don’t ruin what was intended to be good by allowing a horrible attitude to set in, or mean people to say things that they don’t have the power to back up. They can’t speak over your life because they do not own it. Don’t let what people say control your life. Refuse to let anyone or anything take this day away from you, because none of us know how many days we have left. And each day is filled with purpose so fulfil it. Don’t let it go to waste.

Each day you wake up, everyday you make it to, is not accident. How can it be when people are dying every minute of everyday in all parts of the world? Why are you spared? Who spared you?

Never take for granted each day you make it to because it is a sign that God is not finished with you yet! He is still at work in you! He has plans for you! Good plans of peace and for a future and a hope! (Jeremiah 29:11) He preserved you till now. Don’t give up on yourself.

This is the day that The Lord has made, so let us rejoice people and let us be glad and let us enjoy life to the fullest. Don’t let the petty things suck your energy dry, or the big things weigh so heavy on your heart that they overwhelm you and they distort your peace.

Wake up choosing to take advantage of the good things each day was destined for. Amidst the darkness… No matter how dark it is.. Find the light.

Your past does not matter, it will not matter as long as you keep letting it affect you. I’m not lying, it really doesn’t matter what you did last week, last year or even yesterday! Well at least not to God. It is still your past, as in old, long gone. Don’t keep dragging up corpses from their grave. Let them rest in peace!

You’re here today, because God’s not done with you. You have a new day each day to become a better you! There are 365 days in a year. I am only 21 which means I have lived 7,665 days! Wooow! For almost half of those days I had the power to make my own decisions and to think wisely. But that’s still a lot of days. I don’t know how old you are but multiply your age by 365. What are you doing with your days? Make them count!

Love you all and have a beautiful day.

Oh yeah, and congratulations people! We made it!!

Flaws and all

I just want to be real with You,
About how I feel,
About my flaws and all.
But the deeper I get into Your word,
The more I find that it penetrates my heart core- my brokenness within
Just like Hebrews 4 tells me
I see you have made an incision with your word, in my heart
And you have cut out the pain of rejection, fear of failure, depression loneliness and bitterness
You have taken away my thorn
Because these were emotional diseases, infecting my soul

You stitched me up though
By this ugly scar I was made beautiful
And so it is a symbol of your greatness
It my witness that You have done this.
You inject me with love, joy and peace
To fill the void left

And all I can say is YES!
Praise the name of The Lord YES!
I now know what life is.

I’m not always happy,
But I’m better than I was before
I’m no longer empty
Because Gods love is filling me up

Now my life has purpose
It is beyond the surface,
Deeper than the physical into the spiritual

A complete transformation
Of my life and faith
I’m seeing the fruit of Your work in me
I’m better today than I ever was
And that’s the most important thing
Progress

I just want to be real with You.
I am scared.
But I’ve made the decision that I am
All Yours.
Yes. That’s how I feel.
Flaws and all.
And it is because of your word.

One word can free is all..
One word can break the chains that bind your soul,
Unravel the wound and free the heavy knot that tightens your flow of love
You can love and you can be free
From he things that restrict your peace

You’re fighting, but you won’t let go.
Same old, same old
When will we ever learn?
When will we do as we’re told?
Be bold in your obedience and let it break the stronghold

Be real with Him. Flaws and all.
And He will accept you like they never could.

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